A Bench to Himself

This is obviously not an actual picture of the event I'm describing . . .but you get the idea.

If I could write a book about the things my students say to me, I think Saturday Night Live would buy the rights. I'll give just one example of a recent incident. At the high school I teach at, there are a few benches outside the locker rooms where my students will sit while they wait for everyone to finish changing. Because of budget cuts this year, my class sizes have almost doubled, resulting with far more students in a PE class than what the benches can accommodate for. Therefore, a lot of my students will try to change into their PE clothes as quickly as possible, just so they can get a bench to sit on while they wait, (as if they will be sitting for very long!! It's a PE class, but whatever . . . . )

Anyway, a few days ago, one of my more confident athletic and I guess you could say, 'popular' students came up to me and said, "Miss JJ (they still call me that even though I'm married now), I can guarantee you that I will get a bench all to myself today." I raised my eyebrows and laughed, "Oh really? Show me." I knew this would be impossible unless he took some kind of drastic action that would get him sent to the principal's office.

With that, this boy (his name is Ethan) walked over to a bench that already had some girls sitting on it. They skooted over to allow him room. After Ethan had placed himself down, he looked over at the girls and said with a totally serious face and no sign of sarcasm in his voice, "I really feel like I have to let out a huge fart." (My mom hates that word-- sorry Mom). I wish I had a camera to record the girls' disgusted reactions. Within seconds they were all sitting on each others' laps in an attempt to get as far away as they could from Ethan . I was dying! Really, you had to be there to see their faces. It was classic!

A few seconds later, another unassuming student walked out and sat next to the now vacant place next to Ethan. Ethan looked over at him and said, "Hey William, have you ever had to fart so bad, you felt like you'd explode?" A little confused, William said, "Uhhh . . yeah . .. why?" Ethan then responded, "That's how I feel right now." Not a second later, William was up and Ethan was left alone on the bench. With a huge and satisfied grin, Ethan looked up at me and said, "See Miss JJ . . . I told you I could." LOL! I still laugh when I think about it. Seriously, if I had a camera, I could have made a popular You-tube video . . . . Crazy kids. . . .